A day left to my birthday. But I've never felt this way before. As the fact, turning 17 is such a special but I was wrong since this year. Turning 17 is quite normal. I dont why maybe cause dad left me and pay for it. Well, I honestly dont need the-things-that-he-pay-for. Okay I wont take it serious.

Last friday,  Fika and Anggun came to my house. We were chilling and chatting about many things, we talk to much. Then about a hours later, Ira joined. We catched Step Up 3D while chatting. We LOL-ed at anything, included them. Yeah we did.

Anyway I got a BBM from Dimas. He asked me to try this kind of psikotest:

I tried it. Well at the first I really dont wanna do it. But I know he'll get mad if I dont -_- so I did it. And.......reasults were true, not at all. just for number 2,3,4,5,6,7. Percaya gak pecaya sih kalo mau coba ya silahkan. Meskipun ini agak gak worth it tapi kalo buat iseng boleh lah.

You with your words like knives. 

And swords and weapons that you use against me

You have knocked me off my feet again

Got me feeling like a nothing

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard

Calling me out when I'm wounded

You picking on the weaker man

Well you can take me down with just one single blow

but you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city

And all you're ever gonna to be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides

And your wildfire lies and your humiliation

You have pointed out my flaws again

As if I don't already see them

I walk with my head down

Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around

Somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now

Cause you can't lead me down that road

And you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city

And all you're ever gonna to be is mean

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

And I can see you years from now in a bar

Talking over a football game

With that same big loud opinion

But nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things

Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing

But all you are is mean

All you are is mean

And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life

And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city

And all you're ever gonna to be is mean, yeah

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city

And all you're ever going to be is mean, yeah yeah

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

And all you're ever going to be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean? 

Have you ever listened to this song? Mean by Taylor Swift. I often listen to this and I used to think this song is just so her. Yap, I mean this song is dedicated to her. She has (or maybe they have) all in this song. I'm pretty sure Swift wrote this for all the people who acts like them. They judge me "two-faced" just because I dont share the things like she used to. Pardon me? I'm me not you. I'm still a girl who's lucky gets what i'm supposed to do. We're not supposed to do the dumbass when we adore something or whatever. I'm quite understand that you won't leave me in your every single conversations with your you-called-em-amazing. Pls take a look of yourself. We dont have to fight for this. We still have right to get it, or you have. I'm not all him anymore. So chill! I know where I'm, absolutely know it. That's why I dont do the "things".  I'm still on the line. Thanks.

Love,

Fina.

2010 taught me alot, 2011 should be my year.

Setelah kurang lebih 7 menelantarkan blog ini, setelah baru saja deleted unworthy posts, setelah baru saja menyadari 2010 i was kinda labile, nope i'm totally. Dan selama tujuh bulan itu juga mengalami, yap! bisa dibilang masa sulit. 2010 is the worst year to me. Banyak banget di tahun lalu yang terjadi, dari mulai dari hal yang kecil, menye tentang cinta anak SMA sampai hal yang bisa buat nangis sesegukan. Bisa dibilang gak ada yang spesial di tahun ini. But 2010 taught me alot bout how to make things right when everything's going wrong. Belajar banyak tentang perbedaan fake dan true friends, cara menangangi two-faced, dan beberapa hal yang buat gue berfikir "he's not worth it". Mungkin 2010 bisa dibilang complicated, tapi everything happens for a reason kan jadi gue ambil positive things that should be learned aja.

Gue pun gak tau kenapa bisa stuck padahal sebelum ada niat pingin update blog banyak....mungkin melebihi kapasitas otak untuk menyimpan memori, too much I wanna write down here but i'm like forget it. Mungkin ini yang namanya "gak baik omongin keburukan orang" and God isnt allowing me tho. Kata orang doakan aja orang-orang yg selalu tries to push you down bisa sadar dan diampunkan oleh Tuhan.

Anyway, is it normal or what if you find people sometimes say "I wont ever do that" but at the end they did it? Tidak berpendirian tepatnya. Is it normal people brag theirself cuma untuk dipandang "wah"? Is it normal when someone wanna make more friends but they're like choosing who's on the A-list and which one is should be their friends? Kalo menurut ilmu yang berlaku kayaknya berteman tidak diharuskan dengan yang gaul, yang hobi jalan, bahkan yang punya nyokap gaul, ini cukup immature. Is it normal backstabbed your friend? Kenapa harus main belakang kalo emang segala hal bisa diomongin. This kind of people was floating around my 2010 :\

2011. Bismillah, semuanya jadi membaik. Amin.